Two Weeks of Hip Hop

Even photographers have noted how not in touch I am with my femme side. They would joke around: can you even walk in heels? The answer is yes I can and with a cheeky attitude.

It's going to be one of those posts where nothing makes sense, but you will read on and try to make something out of it. Well when you do send me an e-mail. Photos of me are stolen from a myspace I forget I still have. Enjoy, it's going to be long.

Film cameras may be a thing of the past, but they fascinate me. Different lenses, different colors, different exposures. I prefer being behind the lens and capturing people in motion. Things have become to pose-y after fbomb's tagging of people.

Obsession with light colored eyes. No idea where that came from. Oh wait, I do. His name was Ariel. Beautiful Puerto Rican boy who stole a kiss and my heart. Caramel skin and bright green eyes. He was never scared of the adults, and so we had an eventful summer jumping over wire gates. He was 9 and I was 7.5. I thought for sure we would get a rental together when old enough. Then he moved to Florida.

2009 - The first winter I'm wearing pants and clothing my size. I think a bit of me got lost at some CMJ party earlier this year. I blame the free PBR.

Not the biggest fan of sharing, or being #2 for that matter. Too much self love, so I tend to drop people from my "romantically interested" to my "only friends" column. Since we're on the subject, just because I am laid back and considered a bro's kind of girl I do not enjoy hearing about other girls. Unless she's your mom.

Late late late birthday gifts. They're never cheap either. Even trade I say.

I am more attracted to the guy who compliments me on anything other than my features. For example: Someone who thinks/says I'm funny or smart is more likely to pull off my hello kitty panties than the guy who says/thinks I am gorgeous. Hello, I make $$$ by modeling and I hear it all the time. Although the guy who says I have a cute smirk has an equal chance with the panties.

I like to dance to really loud music in my room with the blinds up. Naked. One day I'll party it up at a nudist colony. Baby steps first, topless at a topless beach.

Tan lines. I look better with them. 2010 is the year my tanning habit will consume me. I'll make sure of it and the lucky pinga I'm seeing will be glad of it.

Julian Casablanca on the 14th of January. His face makes my heart melt. I have yet to buy the album but will do so soon. I'm not up for DL-ing. Reason being: If I do run into him backstage *fingers crossed* I want to make sure he has something to sign other than my tits.

The dream stops here. No more talks about skateboarding or skate vid editing. Sorry baby Aileen but it's ruining your chances of ever dating. Or do I have to tally off the guys you've mention these dreams to and how horribly things have ended. Please stop being you for once.

If and when I get the balls and cash to alter my body, I would most likely get a nose job. Growing up without a nose bridge was very traumatic for me due to bullies. This my body dysmorphia.

I find it weird that I remind complete strangers of their 3 month old niece or 18 year old cousin. I find it even weirder when they pull out photographs so they can state their case. Sometimes I do look like their fill in the blank.

I can't really have a full blown orgasm unless I really like the guy. It's weird how I need to feel intimate with someone before that very intimate thing happens. Sucks to be me.

No matter how many times an intervention is staged I will continue to like/see the asshole. Sorry but it's attractive when a guy is not intimidated by me and is free to be himself. It's even more I-want-to-have-sex-with-you-right-on-this-table-attractive when he does something about the guy who is hitting on me in his presence. Like Ali G says "RESPECT!"

If it wasn't for Marc Jacobs I would have a lot more money right now. Owning Fake MJ is tacky and not for me. P.s. I curse the fag-hag who stole my MJ wallet from me @Royal Oak. Cunt.

Drunk talk is the worst sort of talk I do. I expose too much of my dermis and my thoughts. Then the next day I have to clear up all this shet I blabbered about myself aka bad impression of me left in someone's mind. It's embarrassing really.

"There's a pretty young thing in front of you. And she's real pretty and real into you, and then she's sleepin' inside of you." Rilo Kiley - Portions for Foxes

Sometimes I can be very femme. This normally coincides with times I am having lots of great sex or going out to dance. P.s. I also have a column for guys I have great physical chemistry with and nothing more. I appreciate their bodies the way they appreciate mine. TLC.

Accepted the fact today that I am on the cute side of the spectrum. And it's great.

"Why am I dealing with this feeling?

I'm maxed out like a credit card.

I'll continue to be my worst enemy.

It's easy, but it seems so hard.

You're near but you seem so far.

I am wasted, but I'm ready.

I'm running as fast as I can."

Ben Kweller - Wasted and Ready