The Fourth Wall: January 2023

A glimpse into my month so far…

My NYE's date

Going back to my roots and creating beauty content

First week of daycare

Lots of beauty selfies

It feels like we've been sick all month long

So exhausted from being sick

Training runs for Big Sur Marathon

The Fourth Wall

In a few weeks, I'll be heading to Norway but today I'm going through my emotions wondering, why me and why on repeat. OR, is it me putting myself in the middle of avoidable situations. It's really been a big month for self-reflection lost in a layer of confusion.

So instead of dwelling in my misery, which can be so easy to do right now, I can accept my current place on the path and ride the wave out. 

Easier said than done, my friends.

But, it is possible. Similar to this post, I've been trying my best to stay cool, calm and collective in the moments that are completely and utterly mine. Those moments range from my early mornings spent sipping on lemon water, setting an intention and sometimes tweeting them out into the universe, and lately meditating with the Headspace app. 

Actually, I've really been loving the Headspace app since it has these bite-sized sessions that make it super easy to meditate on my commute to work. (For those days, when every minute really does matter.)

In the end, it's all about staying positive and breaking patterns with awareness and action.

Have y'all try mediation or setting intentions at the start of your day? How do you like it?

Photo by Lydia Hudgens.

The Fourth Wall

This past Sunday I had an overwhelming sense of guilt for… Get this… Not working more. As I complained on my new couch, my new roommate (yep, lots has happened on my end) huffed at me and told me all I do is work. That’s when it hit me.

Our interactions over the course of the last three weeks consisted of him, my work laptop, and me. Plugged in and working.

I racked my brain and asked myself when was the last time I went out carefree. Instead, I only remember abruptly leaving my friends so I could make a deadline. This happens quite a lot honestly.

Now I don’t have to ask myself am I doing more harm than good. I am. Will I look back on my 30s and hate myself for becoming so busy that I forget to live that I forget to make a life.

Most definitely.

So I closed my laptop, cracked open a delicious Grimm beer and asked my roommate to hang out with me.

We as a collective need to stop glamorizing the state of “busy” and I for sure need to stop neglecting myself before having another anxiety attack from overloading my body with stress. It’s time to wash away the guilt, realize that I’m only human and can’t do everything under the sun.

I can, however, make daily improvements (like meditating or saying yes to happy hour with friends) to make sure I’m putting in a little me time every single day.

Phew! Writing this down and putting it out in the open makes me feel loads better and more committed to bettering myself. And if you guys catch me slipping, send me a ping and remind me to live more, stress less.

Photos by John Gianniny.