The Fourth Wall

Time to bring down the walls and get a little honest and get a little gritty. The past few months have been so difficult with a side of crying-in-the-shower moments. Ah, life. 

It’s no surprise that my anxiety is something that I deal with on a day-to-day basis and can at times be crippling. After 10+ years of living that pharma-life, I switched from meds to using exercise as a form of relief and have never looked back. But recently, my anxiety has gotten so out of hand due to seeing my finances become depleted within a two-month span.

Money isn’t one of those topics we like to talk about so openly, but shit, the struggle has been so real once April 29th roll around. And if we’re being completely transparent, one of the first things I said to my friends when they found me all mangled up was, “I don’t have insurance, how am I going to pay for this?”

Shortly after I fainted in the hot, musky jungles of Tulum.

It’s sort of insane how quickly our healthcare system can force us to choose between treatment or bankruptcy. Obviously, I decided to go with the latter, which was quickly followed by Miles’ emergency surgery. And if we’re being honest, my parents haven’t been able to support me in over 10+ years. So dollar ramen bowls have been a recurring staple in my kitchen.

There was just no winning this summer and so I dealt with it the only way I knew how. Lots of drinking (the worse choice by far), full-on crying sessions, long runs, and finally – hustling like no other. And by the looks (/budgeting) of it all, it’s going to be pretty tight through all of Fall.

After learning firsthand how horrible the health care system is in the States, I decided to stop dwelling on it and instead focus on how much I was able to handle on my own. It definitely sucks, but I made sure to make whatever needed to happen – happen. And that feels pretty awesome. As for the anxiety, it comes and goes in smaller waves. Not always fun but more tolerable than before.

Oh, and I’ve become a SUPER savvy shopper when it comes to sales and savings.

Photo by Lydia Hudgens.

Summer Swag

Honesty hour time! One glorious, hot as hell day in New York City, Lydia and I had a shoot. We figure it'd be the same old, same old but instead we were greeted with a thunderous monsoon. Granted it lasted a mere ten minutes but the damage was done. It became insanely hot AND humid. The sweat could not roll off my skin any faster which meant my white shirt was basically sheer after our very quick shoot.

You guys, even her camera lens could not stop sweating, just like my back which explains the lack of back-angle shots. It was definitely one of those unglamorous blogger moments which made me realize just how much I really love blogging.

Of course, that doesn't mean I didn't dress appropriately for the weather. I completely did but after waiting it out in the sauna, wait, I mean subway platform, I was burning up. It happens and there's no way to avoid it.

On the typical summer scorcher day, you can usually find in a loose, light-weight top and ripped denim that allows for a gentle breeze in all the right places. And of course some fresh kicks to seamlessly get me from point A to point B.

As of late I've been two-stepping all over town in these Rocket Dog kicks. They come in such gorgeous pastel colors and have a distressed element to them that are perfect for casual affairs. The padded ankles are a nice touch for those looking for extra comfort. If you're not much a sneakers girl, they do have some on-point sandals and booties.

Shirt: Aritzia  Shorts: Zara (similar here)  Sneakers: Rocket Dog  Necklace: Athra Luxe  Rings: Assorted  Bracelet: Folli Follie  Lip Stain: Dahlia via Skinn  Hair Transformation: Chereen from Fox & Jane

Even after all the sweat, rain, and humidity that we both endured - I'm so excited about this set of photos. It's like the perfect formula that I hope to never repeat in the future.

Well it's time for me to finish packing since the girls and I are headed to Mad Decent's Block Party (in Philly!!) for some Diplo fun. I'm expecting debauchery that will only be documented on Snapchat, so make sure you're following me. Find me by searching "thestyleboro" and remember that snapchat is a no judgement zone.

Photos by Lydia Hudgens.

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Inside My Relaxing Rituals

Normally, when everything is so out of funk for me the best ritual that keeps me sane is putting pen to paper and just free-writing. The next best thing would be going out for a run. All I would need is a few minutes or a few hours to start feeling like my best self again.

via thesweetlight.com

Now imagine being told to not write or run, amongst other things. I honestly felt so lost for a few long weeks. And trust me, I tried writing (it looked like shit and hurt like hell) and then I tried running (but couldn't fit a sports bra over my head let alone tie my shoes). Feeling like a fish out of water I started researching a few ways or things to feel more at ease when everything was feeling uneasy. That's when I read up on rituals and started implementing the below things into my everyday life:

1. Starting My Day with Warm Lemon Water
As soon as I'm awake, I make myself a warm cup of lemon water. It's the first thing that enters my system and detoxifies my body. On days I'm feeling under the weather, the next magical ingredient is honey. I swear this healthy habit has helped me feel hydrated and tends to set the tone on what I eat. I'm also pretty positive it's one of the main reasons I've haven't gotten sick (yet). Here are 7 more reasons to add this to your daily routine.

2. Read (AM + PM)
While I'm waiting for my hot lemon water to cool off, I take a seat on my couch and read a couple of pages of whatever I'm reading. (The last few months I've been reading this great book called We Are Not Ourselves by Matthew Thomas). Knowing myself and my profession - I'll be on my phone and laptop all day so this really gives me a chance to have a no-screens moment. At night, it's sort of the same deal. No screens forty-five minutes before bed so I'll usually dive into my book before falling asleep.

3. Set an Intention
This might sound super cheesy, but it really does help set the mood for the day and add clarity to the clutter of our lives. If you're not sure of how to think of an intention, consider it to be the seed you sow for the day, week, month... You get the picture. My intentions tend to revolve around happiness or allowing myself to be open to success or change. It feels weird at first but you'll get over that quick.

4. No Devices at Night
THIS. We all need to do this. At least 45 minutes before bed - put the device or anything with a screen away. Not only will it help you sleep a shit-ton better, you'll slowly find yourself drifting off to sleep quicker. I'm definitely guilty of those late night Instagram scrolls but keeping the screens out of my bedroom made it feel more zen which I love.

5. Declutter & Prep
I've always been a planner and a neat freak so this comes naturally to me, but on those chaotic nights when I can barely breathe let alone declutter or prep -- those nights always haunt my following morning. For me, it simply feels great to spend a half hour tidying up, washing dishes, and getting rid of any crap I brought back with me or needs to get out of the apartment. Then I spend the next twenty minutes looking at my calendar and planning ahead. As in, prepping my lunch, coordinating my outfit, and making sure I have all the things I need for the next day. There's nothing better than waking up ready to take on the day or coming home to a clean + zen space. If you don't know where to start I totally recommend giving Marie Kondo's book a read.

I'll be honest, I've gotten so used to my new rituals, that missing one from my day kind of throws me off. Those days are few and far between, but generally, I'm a happier and saner person once I get through the shebang.

Are there any rituals you do that keeps you sane and motivated? Let me know in the comments down below.