Now if I was a therapist I would ask my patient why do you think this situation is unfair.
And I the patient would spew out rarely taking breaths of airs for pauses, "It's not fair that I had to go it alone, it's not fair that he can go on without a regret and live life as if nothing major happened and joke about it, it's not fair that I told my parents and faced the consequences and he didn't, it's not fair that the finger of blame gets pointed at me for the whole charade, it's not fair that I'm so affected by this still and he is not, it's not fair he walked out on me, it's not fair that I got to hear a pulse and had no one's support, it's not fair that a niece reminded me of this a month later and continuously, it's not fair that I still suffer through these flashbacks, it's not fair that I had to go through another death and find out the rumors of a tape were in fact truth, it's not fair that I loved you that much to do it for you and be left with nothing in the end, it's not fair my organs are fucked, it's not fair that as soon as I was feeling better I had another issue to take on alone, it's not fair your apologies never sounded sincere and it's not fair that I accepted them from someone so selfish and callous knowing fully well that you have already ruined me. And it's definitely not fair that someone will try and defend and argue your case, stating I'm making a big deal out of nothing. How can they say that without knowing, they weren't there to begin with. Oh and it isn't fair that every birthday is now tainted. It's not fair he never owned up to the situation. It's not fair how I will die from regret and guilt for not doing what I felt was right."
Now the therapist (me) hands the patient (still me) a box of tissues. She looks her in the eye and calmly says "We can now start the healing process. I would also want to know if you object to seeing a psychiatrist to help brighten your mood. As for letting that all out it seems like you hold a lot in, but although a harsh situation it does teach you more about yourself."
Then the patient (me) lightly taps her eyes with a tissue to prevent the puffy eye syndrome quips "well if we're all about learning I learned he would most likely be an absent father, besides already knowing I could never forgive and forget him." The patient enjoys bringing humor into her sessions, although others never find it quite as humorous.
The therapist (me) shakes her head sideways discreetly and looks at the wall clock. Her voice breaks the silence, "how about same time next week?"
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Alright so maybe all I needed was some practice to get this ball rolling at the office. :D
And I the patient would spew out rarely taking breaths of airs for pauses, "It's not fair that I had to go it alone, it's not fair that he can go on without a regret and live life as if nothing major happened and joke about it, it's not fair that I told my parents and faced the consequences and he didn't, it's not fair that the finger of blame gets pointed at me for the whole charade, it's not fair that I'm so affected by this still and he is not, it's not fair he walked out on me, it's not fair that I got to hear a pulse and had no one's support, it's not fair that a niece reminded me of this a month later and continuously, it's not fair that I still suffer through these flashbacks, it's not fair that I had to go through another death and find out the rumors of a tape were in fact truth, it's not fair that I loved you that much to do it for you and be left with nothing in the end, it's not fair my organs are fucked, it's not fair that as soon as I was feeling better I had another issue to take on alone, it's not fair your apologies never sounded sincere and it's not fair that I accepted them from someone so selfish and callous knowing fully well that you have already ruined me. And it's definitely not fair that someone will try and defend and argue your case, stating I'm making a big deal out of nothing. How can they say that without knowing, they weren't there to begin with. Oh and it isn't fair that every birthday is now tainted. It's not fair he never owned up to the situation. It's not fair how I will die from regret and guilt for not doing what I felt was right."
Now the therapist (me) hands the patient (still me) a box of tissues. She looks her in the eye and calmly says "We can now start the healing process. I would also want to know if you object to seeing a psychiatrist to help brighten your mood. As for letting that all out it seems like you hold a lot in, but although a harsh situation it does teach you more about yourself."
Then the patient (me) lightly taps her eyes with a tissue to prevent the puffy eye syndrome quips "well if we're all about learning I learned he would most likely be an absent father, besides already knowing I could never forgive and forget him." The patient enjoys bringing humor into her sessions, although others never find it quite as humorous.
The therapist (me) shakes her head sideways discreetly and looks at the wall clock. Her voice breaks the silence, "how about same time next week?"
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Alright so maybe all I needed was some practice to get this ball rolling at the office. :D
