To me, a romantic is constantly searching for something that's false. They have this cookie cutter idea of how things will fall into place upon meeting this imaginary person. Setting yourself up for failure is more like it. Not only that, they can make the most mundane things resplendent. A simple careless moment now means a spacious memory in their trapper keeper.
Totally not bashing romantics, because that would be bashing myself. I don't analyze every little thing (that's obviously a lie), but when little things happen I take them into perspective so they grow lavishly into these massive tentacle bearing things. Useful for dwelling on from time to time when things get boring on the G train.
Personally wouldn't say I'm searching for someone, but for example, if a boyfriend was bad news I would never be able to see because of the constant romantic vision goggles I wear. Seeing him in this false light I've built myself and therefore hurting myself in the end. It's a great thing, people, my age are not into relationships.
But, sometimes it's good to get hurt. I feel the most alive when my days are torturous. I can never explain it properly, but here it goes. Heartache wakes me up with the realization of once having a purpose, to care/love someone other than myself. And we will forever have these moments together even if we are worlds away (such a romancer right!). Who knew I could be capable of such feelings and left in a vulnerable position. I'm not sorry I met you and there will no longer be anything left, but a mark has been made for sure.
That's the new meaning behind my tattoo instead of what really happened. Being able to love/like/lush/crush in such a vulnerable state keeps me alive. So I will love/like/lush/crush forever.
P.s. Don't worry guys, no one broke me in tonight. Had a conversation that sparked this.
You were talking
I was watching
you were looking
at your watch again you
were rehearsing
to be a better person
but you could use
a few pointers
so go on, go home
yeah go on, go home
but take, take me with you - Simon Wilcox /// Mother's Ruin
