After receiving feedback on my list - Here's the verdict.
No matter how bad my OCD gets I can never control my life by list making. It's impossible. What's even more impossible is tailoring some rando to my list "wants". Literally feels like I'm shopping at the A&P.
Let's backtrack and take a look at the ex's why don't we. I've dated guys who believed Birth Control could protect them from STDs and pregnancies (yeah - I know), lame unfunny guys who never left their couch unless(!!) it was to smoke a blunt by the fire escape, guys who were still stuck on their ex and confused me with their therapist, and nearly every guy from my past had no sisters. Not exactly sticking to the list, am I?
Even though I'm disgusted by dirty guys with crooked teeth - I always manage to date them. Every single ex was unhygienic. But I was attracted to him as a whole person and saw the hygiene troubles as a minor blip. At times I barely noticed it.
I find that after my social experiment, forcing a relationship on some poor soul is just like date rape. They never wanted it to happen after one date but was coerced into it. Sad really. The whole depressing dating scene on its own makes people that desperate. Ladies are obviously more affected then gents.
Another thing, the "wants" are obviously reflecting the changes I am going through this growing-up period referred to as "my crazed storm before adulthood". Best thing is to ride it out and enjoy single-dom while still young and beautiful. If it happens, it happens same as if he asks for my number, I'll give it to him.
Well... the guys I've dated had something in common. No, it wasn't the fact they were complete opposites - trust me I can be skeezy-breezy at times. There was a certain trust there which totally set me at ease. And if they did cheat on me, job well done I still have no idea.
What the Social taught us:
- I have OCD
- Look appealing
- Don't be desperate
- People can't be constrained to a list
-You can't make everybody happy all of the time
- Just live your life
P.S. I'm naked
I'm numb
I'm stupid
I'm staying
And if Cupid's got a gun, then he's shootin'
Lights black; heads bang
You're my drug
We live it
You're drunk, you need it
Real love, I'll give it
So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts
You wasted your times
On my heart
You've burned
And if bridges gotta fall, then you'll fall, too
Kleerup ft. Lykke Li - Until We Bleed
