Life seems to be moving at such great speeds, and to be honest it scares the shit out of me. It gives me anxiety and pressure to already be something. And that something (whatever it is because it's undefined in my mind for sure) freaks me out already. What is it that makes me feel that I NEED to have a career right now, and a family happening on the way? Is it my Catholic guilt, or my Latino upbringing guilt??
And, what's going to happen to me after I graduate... AM I GRADUATING??
Everything makes me worry and it's a horrible stress. Sleepless nights equal zombified Aileen. The latest reason of me going on K-Pins and Zoloft. It mellows me out and gives me that stoner persona.
C o o l. Four prescriptions. I feel like an old hag. It'll end after this semester hopefully.
Or maybe I'm starting to freak out because after graduation I would love to get off the adderall, but I don't know if I can be the same focused me without it. It's been years I've had it... I don't know.
No one ever tells you how fast the years go once you reach your 21st birthday and I really wished they had. Oh, the pains of growing old at heart. Le sigh.
Well, on a brighter note this semester is my attempt at finally getting the fuck out of college. This summer will be attempt at making it my last as a waitress.
Maybe take a few months off and travel for a bit, or just be as lazy as possible before joining the ranks of those who have careers and familys. Before I start the next chapter of my life.
It makes me wonder if I will continue to blog, or maybe there will be a new technological craze that awaits us.
Maybe it's time I just grew up.
P.s. What's up with all this warm spring weather in the middle of winter. It worries me and seems abnormal. What are we doing to our poor Earth.