Lonely Nights = Vibrations

Normally I'm fine, especially under normal circumstances. Tonight it's different. For some reason I'm missing the warmth of vivid memories and pillow talk. Although I could never comprehend the idea of staying in a volatile relationship I do understand staying out of sheer comfort.

Of course it's nice to know there is someone out there who is waiting for you at home. But is that a good enough reason to settle down with anyone? Because you know that someone merely wants to be with you, even if it lacks the excitement and torment of an actual passionate connection. No, I do not see the correlation.

Being alone is not a bad thing, it's actually good. You get to know yourself better before you stick a spoon in the left side of your chest and scoop out your heart to give it away. Understanding your wants and compromising your needs.

What I need is someone. Yet, what I want from that someone is never consistent with the emotional twists and turns I go through on a daily basis. I believe I am not the only one to feel this way. I find myself in a conundrum ever so often.

I do know that if I were able to find someone who could break down the walls I plastered up and accept me for who I was before and who I will become in the future, I would find myself in an entirely vulnerable situation - then and only then can I give myself away and lose myself in a sea of Utopian bliss (whoa! run on sentence!) and never once think of coming up for a gasp of air. Too find something that precious is invaluable.

Which is why I never go looking for this mythical person and instead roll with the punches. Life is better when you get small surprises and big upsets that teach you things you never knew before.