Indiana Jones is Not My Hero


As I get comfortable on the futon I'm waiting for the next toke and amusing myself with the photographs of people who have died from gun. I've always wanted to shoot a gun so I make a mental note to find a shooting range in Queens.

He starts the conversation.
Him: Yeah she's been weird lately. Always hitting me up and I'm just not that sort of guy.
Me: I thought all guys were like that. Didn't you ever hear "every time I see the ceiling I fall in love".
Him: What the fuck. No, what are you talking about.
Me: Well it's scientific and I don't know possibly psychological way of looking of how girls treat sex.
Him: Explain yourself.
Me: Well every time a girl fucks a guy these chemicals get released into her blood and it's the same chemicals that give her the "I'm in love with you" emotions.
Him: That explains a lot.
Me: I mean maybe she just wants to keep fucking you because it makes her feel good on the inside and not necessarily want anything more. And it's safer when it's the same person instead of I don't know, let's say 23 people.

He starts to play with his phone.

Him: Well in that case you need to leave soon because I just told her to come.
Me: You're a dick.

I get up and leave.

Once I'm outside I forgot to mention that after a lot of random/casual hook ups (usually takes place after 2.5 months) she may in fact get crazy and want something more meaningful. Oops. He did kick me out so I'll consider this karma.